"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
If you've been around the church much, you've more than likely heard this verse. It's one that has really helped me out. But, I mean, it says to be anxious about NOTHING. Nothing? Really?
Yes, nothing. I thought about sitting here and making the excuse that there's some level of healthy anxiety. I thought about using the example that before big volleyball games (for me) or any kind of competition, there's something wrong if the athlete DOESN'T feel some sort of anxiety. But I can't rightfully say that, because that would be tweaking God's Word.
Paul wrote this letter to the Philippians while he was in prison. If anyone had a right to be anxious, he did. Instead, he wrote with a spirit of joy, and he found this as an opportunity for sharing the gospel...from prison!
Maybe nervous means something different than anxious. Maybe it's okay that I'm a bit nervous. I mean, I don't think Jesus was particularly EXCITED to be hung on a cross and to feel the wrath of God for our sins. He seemed pretty distressed, actually, if that's the right word. Jesus was perfect, but he was human. He was a perfect human. Granted, that was a lot lot lot lot lot lot lot lot different than me going to the Philippines for four months. So I don't know. I think I'll talk to my dad about this topic tomorrow :)
Anyway, here I am, so very extremely excited to go serve God, and for the most part that's just it! Excited! I know God has my back. He's in me, with me, behind me, before me, beside me. The little bit of nervousness is there in the back of my mind. My fallen human nature wants to think of the "what ifs." But I shouldn't. I want to have the spirit of Paul. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." Philippians 1:21. Whoa. What's the worst that can happen? I die? I don't think that's going to happen in the next few months, but there's only joy in me when I think about spending eternity in heaven. So what am I afraid of?
I look a ways down in Paul's epistle. Philippians 4:11-13: "...for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
Welp, there ya have it.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Thursday, June 14, 2012
"Discomfort Precedes Growth"
The title of this post is courtesy of Mair Gault, principal of Agape Boracay Academy. Seeing as her family will be returning to their home in Canada and there will be a new principal at the school when I get there, I will not have the pleasure of meeting her, but I have to say, Mair really summed up one of the main reasons I wanted to go on this journey to the Philippines.
I've told several people that I will likely post blogs while I'm in the Philippines, but I've had so many thoughts running through my mind that it dawned on me that I might as well start now.
How this whole thing came about:
Well, I guess in a sense my whole life has been leading up to this. God orchestrates things so perfectly. I could go way back to how it had always been my goal to make the varsity basketball team (yes, basketball) my freshmen year of high school, but instead a new high school was built which I was zoned to. We started with only a freshmen class, which meant no varsity basketball. I could go on to say that this high school ended up having a very good volleyball team (yes, volleyball...which is not the same as basketball (although basketball wasn't half bad either)), and my senior year we got invited to a tournament where there were college scouts (yes, in a high school tournament). It's a good thing I went to this high school, where we got invited to this tournament, and that there were certain scouts there. I had previously been wanting to play basketball in college, and so I had never played club volleyball. Plans shifted after this tournament.
Well, since I went ahead and said all that, I might as well go on to say that I continually kept my stubborn thoughts on basketball, until I received an offer from UT (but what about Baylor? Getting there...). I accepted this offer, had my ups and downs there (but overall actually enjoyed it), but after two full years, God revealed different plans to me. Before I knew what hit me, I was looking for another school. The only thing I felt sure of was that I didn't want to transfer within the Big XII (yes, x-nay on the Big XII) because it would just be too weird to play my old teammates and in "my" old gym. How silly of me to feel sure of such a thing.
I ended up at Baylor (aha! If you didn't know my life before Baylor, now you're catching on!), and I ended up loving it. A lot. My team, the school, new friends, new opportunities. I went to Kenya three times on two-week sports ministry trips, and those trips changed my life. Now we're getting closer to the present...
After my second trip to Kenya, God just dropped a little bitty thought in my mind to maybe, possibly, go on a longer-term trip someday. When my graduation date was becoming closer and closer, I needed to make a decision. Mission trip? Or find a job? Well, "it just so happens" that my pastor at Highland Baptist Church was doing a sermon series about discerning God's will. I won't say there was a black and white moment where I finally knew what to do. In fact, that was part of what Kyle's sermon was about...that there often AREN'T those "light bulb" moments. I'll paraphrase part of one sermon: basically, he said if you're in the Word and praying, and feeling a calling, sometimes you won't ever just KNOW, but you have to eventually step out and take a leap of faith towards what you think God is putting on your heart. So, after some more praying and discussing the idea with Christians I trust and respect (seeking wise counsel, as Kyle suggested), I decided in March on the Philippines, with missionaries Dan and Tori Beaver, at Agape Boracay Academy.
Discomfort: going to a new high school with no varsity basketball team my freshmen year (such a disappointment...ha).
Growth: God is faithful - high school volleyball tournament with college scouts. His plans weren't my plans.
Discomfort: Choosing to play volleyball when I had a lack of experience compared to other girls.
Growth: God is faithful - I learned a lot about volleyball!
Discomfort: The transferring process.
Growth: God is faithful - I still remember feeling stressed about transferring, and then finally just handing it over to God and feeling the burden being lifted.
Discomfort: Transferring within conference and playing old teammates and on my old stomping grounds.
Growth: God is faithful - Well...you'll just have to take my word for it that He's faithful, because really, that was always just SO WEIRD. Ha! I will say, though, that my senior year became much less awkward for me than my junior year was.
Discomfort: New school.
Growth: God is faithful - Let me just say, without Baylor, I'd be missing out on some pretty amazing friends and probably never would have gone to Kenya (as a side note, I also probably never would have even thought about getting a Master's).
Discomfort: Kenya
Growth: God is faithful - He opened my eyes to a whole new world of need. I've never looked at my life the same since.
Discomfort: the Philippines
Growth: yet to be written. But one thing I do know is that, you guessed it, God is faithful.
A new high school led to volleyball. Volleyball led to UT. UT led to Baylor. Baylor led to Kenya, which leads me to the Philippines. I know that God works His will out regardless, so I can't confidently say, "without Vista Ridge HS being built (point A), I wouldn't be going to the Philippines (point 'now')." Then again, Vista Ridge was built, so that's not really an issue anyway.
I look back at some of the discomforts in my life, and I realize that these might seem SO minor compared to what many people face. I have God to thank for giving me parents who, really, just raised me right (at least I think so!) and basically made my life fairly easy-going. However, this is also why I long for more discomfort. Four months. To some, that may seem like a long time, and to others, no time at all. To me, it's the right amount of time. I know that, often, the times I have seen God the most is when I am put in situations where I have to trust what He is doing. This is something I've really seen in the people in Kenya, and I just want a better taste of that honest to goodness FAITH during my four months time in the Philippines.
So, God, bring on the discomfort, and bring on the growth. I might bite my tongue later for making the first part of that request, but I have to decide now: am I all in? Yep, submerged! Change me, God.
I've told several people that I will likely post blogs while I'm in the Philippines, but I've had so many thoughts running through my mind that it dawned on me that I might as well start now.
How this whole thing came about:
Well, I guess in a sense my whole life has been leading up to this. God orchestrates things so perfectly. I could go way back to how it had always been my goal to make the varsity basketball team (yes, basketball) my freshmen year of high school, but instead a new high school was built which I was zoned to. We started with only a freshmen class, which meant no varsity basketball. I could go on to say that this high school ended up having a very good volleyball team (yes, volleyball...which is not the same as basketball (although basketball wasn't half bad either)), and my senior year we got invited to a tournament where there were college scouts (yes, in a high school tournament). It's a good thing I went to this high school, where we got invited to this tournament, and that there were certain scouts there. I had previously been wanting to play basketball in college, and so I had never played club volleyball. Plans shifted after this tournament.
Well, since I went ahead and said all that, I might as well go on to say that I continually kept my stubborn thoughts on basketball, until I received an offer from UT (but what about Baylor? Getting there...). I accepted this offer, had my ups and downs there (but overall actually enjoyed it), but after two full years, God revealed different plans to me. Before I knew what hit me, I was looking for another school. The only thing I felt sure of was that I didn't want to transfer within the Big XII (yes, x-nay on the Big XII) because it would just be too weird to play my old teammates and in "my" old gym. How silly of me to feel sure of such a thing.
I ended up at Baylor (aha! If you didn't know my life before Baylor, now you're catching on!), and I ended up loving it. A lot. My team, the school, new friends, new opportunities. I went to Kenya three times on two-week sports ministry trips, and those trips changed my life. Now we're getting closer to the present...
After my second trip to Kenya, God just dropped a little bitty thought in my mind to maybe, possibly, go on a longer-term trip someday. When my graduation date was becoming closer and closer, I needed to make a decision. Mission trip? Or find a job? Well, "it just so happens" that my pastor at Highland Baptist Church was doing a sermon series about discerning God's will. I won't say there was a black and white moment where I finally knew what to do. In fact, that was part of what Kyle's sermon was about...that there often AREN'T those "light bulb" moments. I'll paraphrase part of one sermon: basically, he said if you're in the Word and praying, and feeling a calling, sometimes you won't ever just KNOW, but you have to eventually step out and take a leap of faith towards what you think God is putting on your heart. So, after some more praying and discussing the idea with Christians I trust and respect (seeking wise counsel, as Kyle suggested), I decided in March on the Philippines, with missionaries Dan and Tori Beaver, at Agape Boracay Academy.
Discomfort: going to a new high school with no varsity basketball team my freshmen year (such a disappointment...ha).
Growth: God is faithful - high school volleyball tournament with college scouts. His plans weren't my plans.
Discomfort: Choosing to play volleyball when I had a lack of experience compared to other girls.
Growth: God is faithful - I learned a lot about volleyball!
Discomfort: The transferring process.
Growth: God is faithful - I still remember feeling stressed about transferring, and then finally just handing it over to God and feeling the burden being lifted.
Discomfort: Transferring within conference and playing old teammates and on my old stomping grounds.
Growth: God is faithful - Well...you'll just have to take my word for it that He's faithful, because really, that was always just SO WEIRD. Ha! I will say, though, that my senior year became much less awkward for me than my junior year was.
Discomfort: New school.
Growth: God is faithful - Let me just say, without Baylor, I'd be missing out on some pretty amazing friends and probably never would have gone to Kenya (as a side note, I also probably never would have even thought about getting a Master's).
Discomfort: Kenya
Growth: God is faithful - He opened my eyes to a whole new world of need. I've never looked at my life the same since.
Discomfort: the Philippines
Growth: yet to be written. But one thing I do know is that, you guessed it, God is faithful.
A new high school led to volleyball. Volleyball led to UT. UT led to Baylor. Baylor led to Kenya, which leads me to the Philippines. I know that God works His will out regardless, so I can't confidently say, "without Vista Ridge HS being built (point A), I wouldn't be going to the Philippines (point 'now')." Then again, Vista Ridge was built, so that's not really an issue anyway.
I look back at some of the discomforts in my life, and I realize that these might seem SO minor compared to what many people face. I have God to thank for giving me parents who, really, just raised me right (at least I think so!) and basically made my life fairly easy-going. However, this is also why I long for more discomfort. Four months. To some, that may seem like a long time, and to others, no time at all. To me, it's the right amount of time. I know that, often, the times I have seen God the most is when I am put in situations where I have to trust what He is doing. This is something I've really seen in the people in Kenya, and I just want a better taste of that honest to goodness FAITH during my four months time in the Philippines.
So, God, bring on the discomfort, and bring on the growth. I might bite my tongue later for making the first part of that request, but I have to decide now: am I all in? Yep, submerged! Change me, God.
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